spiritual warfare

today is the sabbath. 
and today i am hurting.

it happens every week. i go to church. i serve in the 3's classroom or with high school ministries. i sit with my dearest and closest friends. i sing hymns of praise to my Maker. i pray prayers of confession and thanks. i listen to the sermon given by one of our amazing pastors. i dutifully take notes. i take communion and pray some more. i listen to announcements and read the bulletin. i hang around in the sanctuary and chat with the sweet people God has placed in my life. sometimes i go out to eat or go grocery shopping. and then i come home.

and that's when he attacks.

every. single. week.


i used to think it was just exhaustion. but as i've grown closer to the Lord, i can now discern that it's the enemy. the one who tears down and places lies deep into our hearts. the one who tells me i'm unworthy. that i can't live up to expectations. the one who causes me to doubt. doubt my relationships, my body image, my future. he's distracting. he knows exactly where to push and prod in my life. 

truth:
fighting is hard.

it's exhausting and draining and it hurts. 


friends, have you ever experienced this? i know i can't be the only one. maybe he gets into your head in other ways. by leading you into temptation or by tearing down your loved ones. i don't know. maybe you've never experienced it at all and you think i'm a little bit crazy. but i can tell you, it's real. and i'm tired of fighting it in silence. i'm putting it out there cause i'm sick of pretending that i'm okay. i'm tired of saying i'm overloaded with school and work when i know in my heart and soul that it's so much more. i'm fighting a battle that i can't win.


but it's okay.
because although the battle is ongoing,
it's already been won.
and i happen to know the winner.
we're actually on the same team.
pretty cool, huh?



Psalm 18 (NLT) 

1 I love you, Lord;
    you are my strength.
2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
    my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
    and my place of safety.
3 I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise,
    and he saved me from my enemies. 
--

6 But in my distress I cried out to the Lord;
    yes, I prayed to my God for help.
He heard me from his sanctuary;
    my cry to him reached his ears.
--
16 He reached down from heaven and rescued me;
    he drew me out of deep waters.
17 He rescued me from my powerful enemies,
    from those who hated me and were too strong for me.
18 They attacked me at a moment when I was in distress,
    but the Lord supported me.
19 He led me to a place of safety;
    he rescued me because he delights in me. 
--
You hold me safe beyond the reach of my enemies;
    you save me from violent opponents.
49 For this, O Lord, I will praise you among the nations;
    I will sing praises to your name.
50 You give great victories to your king;
    you show unfailing love to your anointed,
    to David and all his descendants forever.

----
emphasis added is my own -
underlined: what God has done for us
bold: truths about who He is
italicized: what we can do

in this passage we're shown that the Lord rescues, He shows unfailing love to us, He leads us, He supports us, He holds us safe, He hears us, He draws us out of deep waters, and He saves us from our enemies. 

let's look at our role: we cry out, we call, we pray, and we praise. and hello, why wouldn't we?! God is our ROCK, our STRENGTH, our SHIELD and SAVIOR, our FORTRESS and PLACE OF SAFETY! 

i don't know about you, but good gracious, this King has asked us to play on His team! even though we deserve to be the kid who gets picked last!!! we don't deserve to be His first draft pick. 

we are not worthy. 

yet there He is. saying, hey, you can be on my team. I'll fight the big guys for you. don't even worry about them. just follow me, and love me with all your heart, mind, and soul, and proclaim me as your Lord and Savior and I've got your back. i'll guard you and keep you safe. heck, even if you mess up and the other team scores on us, I've still got you. I still love you and I'm not going to put you on the bench. because we're going to win this. together.

no matter what.

---

as one of my favorite songs (which i've blogged about before) says:

There'll be days I lose the battle
Grace says that it doesn't matter
'Cause the cross already won the war
He's Greater

(Greater - MercyMe)


thankful for a God who is greater. a Lord who has won the battle and is fighting with me still. thankful that I don't have to face spiritual warfare alone. Oh sweet Lord, you are mighty to save and I praise you for it. 


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