an open letter to my sweet friend,

oh how my heart aches.

i don't know how to respond or how to help or how to support.

i know you're hurting. i know. i've been there too.

i've felt it deep in my bones and

i know nothing seems to help. 

but oh sweet girl Jesus can and does.

i know you can't hear him. and i know you can't feel him.

but he loves you relentlessly. 

he so intricately and beautifully wove you. 

i know you don't see it and i know me writing this doesn't help you believe it.

but it's true. it's oh so true friend.

a little over 20 years ago, he started weaving you.

he wove your tiny little fingers, and painted each of your veins.

he hand carved your bones and gave you such an intelligent little brain.

he gave you dna and aligned your chromosomes just right.

just for you my friend.

he placed you in a loving home with parents who knew Christ.

he gave you breath. he breathed his own into you.

because he loves you.

oh how he loves you.

i know you can't see it. 

i know you haven't heard him in awhile,

but he's there.

he's waiting patiently and loving you throughout this hard time.

oh how he loves you.

he sees you struggling sweet friend.

and it breaks his heart.

oh how he wants to sweep down and dust you off,

but he needs you to give him a little line first.

he just wants to talk to you.

he appreciates honesty. you can tell him how you really feel.

you can tell him you're angry and tell him you're sad.

he hears each and every word.

because he loves you.

he knows what it's like to be betrayed. 

he knows what it is like to be in pain.

he knows how the approval of others can cut like a knife.

he understands.

he's helping you grow right now

he placed you in this valley, because he knows you are strong.

gosh how he loves you.

he knew about this time in your life.

he knew you would doubt.

and he knew you'd turn away.

but he hung on a cross for you anyways.

don't you see that love?

does that not cry out, daughter, i love and adore you??

oh how i wish i could make things better.

that i knew the right things to say.

but i don't.

all i know is that Jesus is on your side.

he has been and always will be.

i wouldn't tell you this if i didn't know it to be true.

i wouldn't tell you these things if i didn't believe them for myself.

i know you'll hate this post. 

i assume you'll be upset.

but it's worth the risk.

because i love you friend.

and i'm not willing to lose you to the enemy.

because if i just stood by and said "sure, think those thoughts, it's okay,"

i wouldn't be loving you.

so.

i'm going to keep pouring into you.

i'm not going to force you to listen.

but i'm going to speak God's promises and i hope you will listen.

we all need reminders.

i pray that you'll fight.

i pray that you'll join the army and fight against the enemy.

because he has nothing on us.

oh sweet friend, you know which team wins. 

you know you picked the right one.

your teammates are here for you. 

your Coach is here for you.

we need you. we want you. we love you.

i pray that you'll just try.

you don't have to leap.

you don't have to take a 180.

all you need is 

one. little. step.

i'm not saying it'll be easy,

because the Christian life never has been and it never will be.

but it's worth it sweet girl.

oh how it's worth it.

i love you lots.

but Jesus loves you more.

1 Peter 5:8-11 (MSG)

Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.