Beautiful Chaos

do you ever think, maybe i can't do this? maybe i'm not cut out for this? maybe, i'm inadequate. the dictionary defines inadequate as "insufficient; unable to deal with a situation or with life" woof. that is how i feel a lot. because i want to do all of the things. i'm sure a lot of you can relate. i want to be involved in organizations at school, make straight a's, be the perfect girlfriend and friend (LOL), volunteer, be involved at the crossing and serve in various ministries. i want to work 12+ hours a week so that i can be somewhat independent and pay for gas and food and utilities and whatever else. i want to cook healthy meals and get 8 hours of sleep (LOL once again). i want to paint and read books and exercise (LOLOLOL).  but i just can't do it. and that bothers me. it eats at me. it pulls me away from Christ. sitting down to write this, i really didn't have a plan. i just needed to sit down and g...

https://soundcloud.com/crossingsongs/trees-will-clap-live (^^^ LISTEN ^^^) i've always loved the song, Trees Will Clap, that we sing at the Crossing. it's super catchy and you can't help but tap your foot and smile when you sing it. it's based off the the following verse:  Isaiah 55:12 You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. when we sang it at church today though, something was different. God placed vivid imagery in my mind that i can't help but share. open the song in a new tab, press play, close your eyes (after you read), and imagine this: (but really, play the song while you read this or it'll be a little hard to grasp) you're on a harbor (in alaska of course) and you're surrounded by gorgeous pine and spruce trees. there are eagles soaring and the snow capped mountains stretch for miles. t...

today is the sabbath.  and today i am hurting. it happens every week. i go to church. i serve in the 3's classroom or with high school ministries. i sit with my dearest and closest friends. i sing hymns of praise to my Maker. i pray prayers of confession and thanks. i listen to the sermon given by one of our amazing pastors. i dutifully take notes. i take communion and pray some more. i listen to announcements and read the bulletin. i hang around in the sanctuary and chat with the sweet people God has placed in my life. sometimes i go out to eat or go grocery shopping. and then i come home. and that's when he attacks. every. single. week. i used to think it was just exhaustion. but as i've grown closer to the Lord, i can now discern that it's the enemy. the one who tears down and places lies deep into our hearts. the one who tells me i'm unworthy. that i can't live up to expectations. the one who causes me to doubt. doubt my relationships, m...

you think when you go to college, the bullying will end. the hurtful words and rumors and jabs will stop and everyone will be mature about things. right?? friends, this doesn't happen.  girls are still catty, they still say and do hurtful things, they still start rumors and talk behind your back, and they still make intentional jabs at you to hurt your feelings. and I know that this isn't going to change. there's a quote that I like - "you could be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches." we live in a fallen world. with hurtful words and anger in our hearts. how are we to treat these people in our lives? the ones who call us names, who talk about us behind our backs, or those who blame you for everything. it'd be easy to write them off as mean and throw them to the curb. like in Taylor Swift's song Mean: "You, with your words like knives And swords and weapons that you use against me You h...

hi sweet friends,  i hope this advent season finds you all well! many of us are finishing up the semester with finals, and papers, and presentations. business and long to-do lists are dragging us down and can easily hinder our relationship with our Maker. even during advent, my heart is weary with all that is going on around me and in my life. but even through the stress and weight, i trust that the Lord is piecing it all together for His good. He's taking this chaos and weaving it into beauty. and for that i am oh so thankful.  i love music. it has always been a huge part of my life, whether it be playing instruments, singing, or just jamming out in my room. i easily connect to music. in high school, i thrived on worship music, but coming to college i stopped listening. this summer, the Lord absolutely changed my heart and gave me a desire to pursue Him through music once again. lately, two songs have been popping up in my life quite frequently. and by quite freque...

hello sweet friends, life is hard sometimes. y'all know this. we don't live in Eden. our homes aren't seated in paradise. the world we live in is a broken, sinful, beautiful, freezing at times, hot mess of a place. due to the fall, we're the same. hurting, sinning, way too busy, worn out people trying to make a name for ourselves. and this is hard. things don't go our way. we forget about important obligations and have to face the consequences. we are worn out  from studying our butts off and still not making the grade. we are exhausted  from pouring into relationships and then having friends fail us and turn away. we are weary  from trying to abide by God's laws when others aren't.  guys, i don't know about you, but i'm in serious need of rest. in Matthew 11:28 (Message version) it says,  “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. ...

To begin, I want to proclaim my absolute love and awe for The Lord. Every day, through the trials and joy, I'm in awe of His power and plan for my life. Developing my relationship with Christ has been an adventure to say the least, but it is so worth it.  Recently someone said to me, "Shelby, your life seems so easy. You get accepted into everything."   Woah . Not true, my friends.  Let me be the first to tell you, my life is not as peachy as it may seem. I struggle, y'all. I sin daily. My words are not always gentle and my heart is not always focused on Christ. But thankfully, Jesus has blessed me with grace . And He has blessed you too! And for this I am so thankful. Because through His grace, I have joy. I'm able to fight through the temptations that life throws at me with Christ at my side. When trials arise, I know that God has had these planned for me since the beginning of time. Let that sink in a bit, because it's huge and so incredibly exciting!!! Onc...